Wednesday, January 22, 2014

I'm Hibernating Until Mother Nature Gets Over Her PMS

I live in Minnesota. Yes, it's by choice mostly. Most of my family (even extended family) is here. I moved a lot as a kid because my dad was in the military and it sort of made me want to stay put once I had the choice. Plus, I missed my family even when I went to college just 2 hours away. Perhaps I am a big baby and miss my mommy and daddy if I don't see them enough.

I digress. I live in Minnesota, the land of 10,000 lakes, giant mosquitoes, passive-aggressive people, and the weather changes drastically in just hours. We are being treated to another PIECE of the polar vortex tonight and tomorrow, so we'll enjoy the balmy -40 wind chills yet again. (Though -40 really is balmy compared to the -60 wind chills just a few days ago.) It really is hard to sympathize with the Floridians who are shivering in the 50 degree (ABOVE ZERO) temperatures.

There are some Minnesotans that wear shorts no matter what the weather. Honestly, you can try to judge the temperature by looking at several people's attire and you'll be heartily confused. On the same day you can see one person wearing shorts, another a light sweatshirt and jeans, and yet another dressed in a parka, hat and mittens. I generally don't wear shorts in the winter, but much of the time my heavy winter coat makes me sweat even when the temps dip.

Minnesotans are a strange lot. If a stranger asks for help in a store, we help even though we don't work there--but if you try to cut in front in a merge at a construction site we'll pull ahead just enough so you can't get in. We drag out our oooooos and call sodas "pop" and instead of playing "Duck, Duck, Goose" like normal people we play "Duck, Duck, Grey Duck." (This totally confused me moving to Minnesota from New York.)

Minnesotans lament a May snowstorm that drops a foot of snow then complain a month later about 90 degree heat. (It's not so much the heat, but the humidity!)

If you ask a Minnesotan how they are doing, even if the person is dying and has lost everything he will respond..."It can always be worse, eh?"

So, it can always be worse, eh?

Until next a unicorn.

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